Partners With Privileges
by Jessica237
Summary: It wasn't exactly a lie... KD, post 2x23.


**Title:** Partners With Privileges**  
>By:<strong> Jessica**  
>Pairing: <strong>Kensi/Deeks**  
>Rating:<strong> M**  
>Timeline:<strong> Post 2x23 - Imposters  
><strong>Summary: <strong>It wasn't exactly a lie...

**A/N:** This is not my forte, but after that little conversation with Star, this just wouldn't go away. I hope it's enjoyable.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>"We're just partners."<em>

_"...With privileges."_

_"Oh. Definitely not."_

_"Kinda."_

_"No."_

* * *

><p>This…is a really bad idea.<p>

So bad, in fact, that Kensi's certain that it's got to be about the worst thing she's ever gotten herself mixed up in, especially since it breaks nearly every rule that she's ever set for herself. The first time, she was able to write it off as a mistake, a bit of bad judgment, and move on from it. The second time, well, she was still able to do that, even if she had to force herself to believe it. The third time, she swore it would never happen again…and then it happened again the very next night.

Somehow, what she tried to write off as a mistake became a routine, a routine that she found herself surprisingly okay with.

Hence the _bad idea_.

And really, she knew it was a bad idea the first time she gave him that playful smirk of hers and agreed to his ridiculous suggestion. But she ignored that part of her brain, and instead chose to listen to the part that told her it didn't mean anything. They were just a couple of partners looking for a way to blow off steam after a long day at work. She knows they're not the first to do it…and besides, they're not half bad together.

But that doesn't change the fact that it's still a bad idea. Involvement with partners…everything about that just _screams_ disaster and she knows it.

It was a bad idea before, but it became a dreadful idea when the sight of her undercover partner sharing a kiss with someone from his past (she refuses to call her an old girlfriend, or worse, an old lover) left her biting back both anger and nausea and left her unable to look him in the eye for a fair chunk of time afterward.

It was a bad idea before…but oh God, it became a _horrific_ idea just that afternoon, when that same overly flirty partner and a young blonde who was not at all opposed to her overly flirty partner caused an entire cascade of emotions that Kensi, even now, refuses to name. She doesn't need to name them…just the fact that they were there at all is all the proof she needs to know that this is the worst idea she's ever gone along with. Their presence alone should be enough for her to put an end to this.

However, when she finally vocalizes that, she really has no intention of following through on her words because they're spoken against his lips, between messy kisses that leave her breathless. "I should kick you out…"

And she should. She really, _really _should, but damn it if her resolve doesn't falter and just about shatter altogether when those same lips claim hers in another desperate, demanding kiss. It's all she can do to think straight and she's sure he knows that. Knows it, and loves every second of it.

"That would be rude," he responds, tearing his mouth away from hers only to dot kisses along her jaw instead. She moans; can't quite help it, really, and he smirks against her soft skin. When he speaks again, the low rumble of his voice sends a shiver rocketing through her entire body, straight to her core. "And you wouldn't want to be rude, now would you, hmm?"

She laughs quietly, grasping at his upper arms for support as his lips tease over a particularly sensitive patch of skin. "You mean, rude like the way you forced your way into my apartment?" she breathes.

"Uh-huh. That's funny. Because the way I recall it, _you're_ the one who forced _me_ inside. I had no choice, really. You're a bit…_demanding_ sometimes. A lot of the time. You're kind of bossy, really…" Characteristically he rambles on while his hands settle at her hips, and it's only then that Kensi realizes he's backed her fully against the wall. Her heart skips a beat or several, she can't really tell but it's not like that's what's important to her right now. What's important is the fire that's already blossoming deep in the pit of her stomach; what's important is the way his lips are sucking and kissing at already heated skin, not to mention the _delicious_ way his body is pressing against hers.

What's important is the knowledge that this is _still_ such a bad idea and she knows that…but oh dear God she swears she's never had a bad idea that's turned out so damn _good _before.

And Deeks…well, suffice it to say Kensi will never admit it to his face, but he's got ways of turning her world inside out and making her see stars, not to mention damn near making her forget her own name. _Damn good _hardly seems a sufficient description.

But then again, she doesn't have to worry about that, since it's not something she's ever going to admit. She swallows hard, nearly melting against him as his hands drift beneath her top, encountering the smooth skin underneath. No matter how many times they do this, no matter how many times they find themselves here, there's just something about his touch on her skin that sets her entire body aflame. "I – I should call the cops, you know," she throws out weakly.

He just smirks, then playfully nips at her jaw. Her soft gasp, though slight, seems to echo in the heated space between them. "Oh really? You should've _told_ me you wanted handcuffs," he murmurs silkily, and even though Kensi thinks she should probably slap him for such a comment, all she can do is tremble at the image his voice plants in her head.

She manages to bring her hands to his chest, but rather than push him away, it's clear all she wants is to draw him closer. "I – I should put an end to this right now," she bites out even as her fingers clasp in the material of his shirt. His lips choose that moment to venture to her throat, and Kensi's eyes flutter closed as delight and desire bubble up within her. Tilting her head, she offers him better access as his kisses trace their way to her pulse point, and then she can't quite help but blush because she's certain he can feel against his lips just how quickly her pulse is racing.

"And why, exactly, should you do that?" he murmurs against her skin, questioning the statement she's already pretty much forgotten.

It takes her a moment to remember, and then a moment after that to recall exactly why. It comes back to her in fragmented flashes, tiny little pieces that the slow suction of his lips and the tickle of his scruff against her skin and the press of his hips against hers are quite quickly and easily doing away with and _damn it_, she really shouldn't be struggling this much. _She's_ supposed to be the one with the undeniable seductive prowess, not him.

She draws in a shaky breath, trying to force herself to remember the reasons – the latest reasons – why she's supposed to be mad at him; why she shouldn't be well on the way to letting him ravish her against the wall in her living room – _again_. "Because…because you just can't keep your mouth shut."

That grabs his attention, and to Kensi's immediate displeasure, his lips leave her skin as he lifts his gaze to hers again. And _God…_when he turns those brilliant blue eyes of his upon her, those blue eyes that are already darkened with lust and desire and a multitude of possibly deeper feelings that Kensi's not ready – may not ever be ready – to call out by name, she knows she's in way too deep to find her way out again. She could drown in those eyes…and that's the battle she finds herself fighting now every single time he looks at her. Because she _knows_ how those eyes look in moments like this, she can't help but see those eyes the very same way the rest of the time…and that most definitely presents a problem.

He's grinning at her, that devious grin that gives her the feeling that he's up to something, or that maybe he knows exactly where she's going with this. Knows exactly where she's going with this argument…and knows she really has no desire to go there. "Care to tell me what you're talking about?" he murmurs, slowly gathering the material of her shirt in his hands. His knuckles brush her skin as he pushes the material upward, and, despite the fact that she thinks she's supposed to be angry with him, she willingly lifts her arms and lets him quickly draw it up over her head. He drops it carelessly to the floor then before unabashedly letting his eyes roam over the woman in front of him, left in her jeans and a simple black bra with her hair already more than a bit tousled – it's all he can do to stop himself from tearing the rest of her clothes off right then and there.

His eyes finally find their way back to hers, and she gives him what she hopes is a stern look – she has the sneaking suspicion, though, that it's anything but. "You know _exactly _what I'm talking about," she replies, her breath hitching just slightly as he traces a single fingertip along her side, from the curve of her hip all the way to the fabric of her bra. He doesn't say anything; he simply continues grinning that maddening grin of his and it takes all of her willpower not to lock her arms around his neck and pull him in for another kiss. "This," she says, gesturing slightly between them, "was supposed to stay between you and me."

Deeks does exactly what she'd been fighting – he captures her lips in a sultry kiss. Kensi shivers as his mouth once again meshes so seamlessly with hers and…_damn it_. She knows exactly what he's trying to do, and he's succeeding _very well _at it. It takes everything she has, but she manages to break away from his kiss. She knows she's being nothing but stubborn at this point, because she's really not angry at all, but in the end, that stubborn streak within her is one of the things that makes her so completely _her_, and she can't just back down and let him empty her mind with his kisses, no matter how exquisite. "_You and me_," she repeats.

"This _is _just between you and me," he murmurs, quickly trying to capture her mouth again. She turns her head, but Deeks doesn't let that stop him. Instead of her lips, he drops his head and presses a kiss to her shoulder. One kiss becomes two, and two becomes an entire path of kisses all the way to her collarbone, each one like a burst of flame to her already heated skin.

She can barely breathe; she gasps softly as his tongue flutters gently at the hollow of her throat and it's only then that she realizes that she's still got one hand bunched in his shirt while the other one has migrated to his messy blonde hair. She clutches at the strands as he starts to kiss his way down her sternum, her heart beating faster and faster as he drifts closer and closer to her covered breasts. "It _was," _she breathes, "before you told Ray."

Deeks laughs, lifting his head again. "I never said anything to Ray," he says, gently nudging the strap of her bra from her shoulder with a single finger. He leans in and presses a kiss to the newly revealed patch of skin. It hits him them, as he pauses for a moment to simply breathe her in – he's addicted to her. Addicted to her taste, her scent, the softness of her skin, the way she murmurs his name…yeah. Completely addicted. "I swear, Kens. He's the one who inferred that you and me had a –" he pauses, gently teasing the other strap out of the way as well. "A _thing_."

She thinks maybe she can believe that. However, she knows what she heard with her own ears and saw with her own eyes just that very afternoon. "Okay then," she relents, biting at her lip as he traces the cup of her bra with his fingertips. "What about Star?"

Recognition flickers in his eyes. "_That's_ what you're upset about?"

Kensi furrows her brow. "I'm not _upset_." As if it proves her point, she grins slightly and slips her hands underneath his shirt, splaying her palms over the firm muscles of his abdomen.

The grin doesn't fool him, though the tantalizing caress of her fingers is almost enough to distract him. So clearly he figures that, with the game of one-upmanship they so often play, he should do his best to distract her too. Eyes locked with hers, he lets his touch fall away from her and instead takes hold of his own shirt. Swiftly he pulls it off and it soon finds itself lost somewhere with hers on the floor. "I don't know," he says then, a smirk at his lips as he watches her gaze flit over him. "I think you're mad. Are you mad at me? I bet you are."

Oh, she certainly tries to be. She's pretty sure that if she had to, she could probably summon up enough anger to _prove_ that she's angry. She could shove him away from her and send him out the door and on his way, but the fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter whether she's angry at him or not, because shoving him away from her and sending him on his way is very much the _last_ thing she wants to do.

She wants him far too much to do that.

She _wants _him, and she's quite certain that Deeks knows that.

He's got that cocky glint in his eyes and that arrogant yet sexy smirk at his lips, and oh _God_, he knows she wants him.

Kensi shivers as he leans in again, playfully nibbling at her jaw. "I told you before," she murmurs, tangling a hand in his hair again. "Dogs get mad – people get _angry." _As if to illustrate that, she tugs lightly at his hair, eliciting a low groan from his lips.

"Uh-huh." He pins her fully to the wall then, his body against hers and neither can deny the electricity that sparks between them as his muscled torso comes into contact with hers, bare skin against bare skin and suddenly Kensi can't really think of anything other than the blinding fact that there are still _way_ too many layers separating them. Her fingers automatically curl around his belt, the tips of her fingers dipping beneath the waist of his jeans but Deeks stops her before she can do anything. Closing his fingers around her wrists, he gently tugs her arms upward, ignoring her whimper of protest and the petulant cry of his name as he playfully pins her arms to the wall just above her head. "You wouldn't be telling me that again if you weren't mad." He grins. "I mean, _angry."_

He kisses her again before she can argue. It's another deep, passionate, control-shattering kiss, even more so than the ones before it and Kensi can't fight through the sudden thick haze that clouds her mind to do anything more than kiss him back. She wishes he'd let go of her wrists because there's far too many things she wants to do with her hands right now but he's not relenting and as she's all but completely trapped between his hard body and the wall, all she really has is her mouth. So she kisses him just as hungrily as he kisses her, tongues teasing and tasting and she's dizzied and seeing spots on the backs of her eyelids before he ever pulls away from her, and even though she desperately needs the oxygen, she's oh so reluctant to let him.

But he doesn't go far, though, and Kensi squirms against him as he keeps her pinned to the wall. "So, answer me this," he proposes, a smugness in his voice that Kensi simultaneously likes and dislikes – it's sexy as hell, but it also means he knows he's got her exactly where he wants her. "Are you angry because I said something?" he asks, referring to the playful, not-so-false quip he'd thrown out in response to Star's question.

Thinking back, he imagines it's a miracle indeed that she didn't punch him right there on the spot. _Partners_ _with privileges_… It's quite clever, though, Deeks thinks, and not entirely false. Not at all false, really, and he can't help but smirk as he remembers just how vehemently Kensi had protested his playful insistence. _Too_ vehemently, and from the grin that had tugged at Star's lips, Deeks knows he wasn't the only one who'd thought that.

With the job they both do, he still finds it hard to believe. But Kensi really _is_ quite terrible at denying the truth.

He doesn't give her the chance to answer his question before he's adding to it, a devilish glimmer in his ocean blue eyes. "Or is it because…" Deeks lets that trail off, lingering in the air between them as he goes in for another kiss, and really, if she _is _in fact mad, she's doing a horrible job at it. Her lips meld quite willingly with his and when he finally releases her wrists, her hands go straight to the back of his head, fingers threading through his messy locks. Deeks lets his own hands wander to the smooth, silky skin of her back, his fingertips playfully flitting over the clasp of her bra as he breaks the kiss. "Or is it," he breathes against her lips, "because I gave her my number?"

Kensi stiffens indignantly, but Deeks merely laughs quietly. It's a low, seductive rumble, one that goes straight to her core and sends a delicious shiver coursing through her entire body. "Oh. Wait. Never mind. You wouldn't _let_ me give her my number. Guess that answers _that_."

For the first time, she brings her hands to his chest and shoves him back, a look of utter incredulity on her flushed face. "You're ridiculous."

He lifts a brow, unconsciously licking his lips as he looks at her. _There's_ the slight flash of anger that was completely absent before, but that's nothing compared to the desire that radiates off of her. Biting at her lip, she's still breathing hard as the lust dances in her eyes. It's almost a crazed look – she's crazy with want for him, and just the knowledge of that is enough to stoke his own arousal almost to the breaking point because he's certain she's never looked sexier than she does now. "Am I?" he challenges quietly, his eyes daring her to prove him wrong. "Because I think you were just a bit jealous."

A burst of laughter erupts from her lips – it's a bit too theatrical to be genuine, though, and Deeks knows he's got her. "You have _got _to be kidding me," she retorts, crossing her arms.

Deeks grins triumphantly – that's _definitely_ too vehement of a protest. "The only one kidding anyone here, princess…" She narrows her eyes at him, but predictably he doesn't heed the warning, "is _you_, kidding _yourself_."

"Okay. That's it," she scoffs, rolling her eyes. "I think we're done."

"What?"

She smirks evilly. "I said, we're done." Before he can question her, she regains the upper hand with one swift motion and a quick clarification. Reaching out to him, she firmly grasps the waist of his jeans and yanks him in close again, momentarily gleeful at the look of surprise and then desire in his blue eyes. "Done _talking_."

Her mouth crashes against his then with a fervor that leaves his entire being completely on fire for her. Deeks buries his hands in her hair, letting the silky strands thread between his fingers as he kisses her, savoring her taste and the softness of her lips and the utter passion in her kiss. Suddenly, she's the one in control and really, he's okay with that. For now, anyway.

Kensi's hands aren't idle for long – within seconds, her fingers are deftly undoing both his belt and the button of his jeans, and it's then that Deeks decides to tease her a little more. "So…you're not gonna kick me out, then?" he whispers breathlessly between kisses, kisses that are growing messier by the second as the electricity builds between them.

She groans, pulling forcefully at his zipper. "Shut _up_."

"Mm. _Demanding."_

"I swear to God, Deeks, if you don't–" She never finishes because his mouth hungrily covers hers then, effectively silencing her and weakening her knees all at once. Moaning softly against his mouth, she shoves at his jeans with now-trembling fingers; it's a bit hard to concentrate, all things considered, but she manages finally to push them down. Without breaking the kiss, he kicks them away, leaving him in nothing more than his boxers in front of her…and _that_, he immediately decides, is _incredibly_ unfair because she's still _much _too clothed for his liking.

That needs to be rectified _now_.

At the same time, though, Kensi's suddenly got other things on her mind, like the fact that even though there's no denying just how _delicious_ their last time together was, her entire body was stiff and achy afterwards and _not _exactly in the best of ways. This time, she's got a much more comfortable place in mind than against the wall again, and without breaking the kiss she traces her hands down over his arms, pausing just briefly to squeeze at his biceps before finishing her trek downward and clasping her fingers with his. She tugs gently, and that's all he needs – right now, he's certain she could pull him anywhere and he'd willingly follow.

How they finally manage to stumble from the living room to her bedroom is a mystery to them both – Deeks has been here enough to know that merely walking through her apartment is dangerous enough, but add in the near darkness and the fact that their lips have barely parted even long enough to breathe, and it's nothing short of a miracle that they haven't tripped and ended up sprawled out in the hallway somewhere. Her jeans are sacrificed somewhere along the way, and Deeks is finally, _finally _unclasping her bra and tossing it carelessly away as they tumble onto her bed, already a tangled mass of limbs.

It's the moments like this that are dangerous, because it's in these moments that he begins to think that what they have _might_ just be more than just _a thing_. These moments, when he forces himself to stop kissing her and simply _look _at her. Or maybe _gawk_ is a more appropriate term, because what he's doing now is _certainly_ gawking at her. She's utterly _gorgeous, _and it's not just because he's got her in nothing more than a little pair of panties underneath him. That helps, certainly, but God…it's the way she's looking up at him now with those dark, desire-filled eyes of hers. It's the color glowing in her cheeks, over her skin. It's the dark, tangled mess of her hair as it frames her face; it's the way she's panting, trying to catch her breath. It's the way she parts her lips, those lips that he'd just been kissing, that he can't imagine _not _kissing.

Oh yeah, he's in trouble here.

He forces himself to internalize it, at least what he can, because he knows that the moment she realizes that he's developing these kinds of _feelings_ for her is the moment that she puts an abrupt end to all of this…and that's not something he's prepared to face because Deeks is at the point where he can't imagine _not_ having this.

She pulls him back to the present as she grips his biceps and tries to roll him, but ultimately he still controls the upper hand here. "Don't think so, princess," he smirks, ducking his head to nuzzle at her throat again, but it's the hand that wanders its way to her breast that draws a moan from her lips. He teases until she's squirming and arching beneath him, and then he ups the ante when he allows his mouth to replace his fingers and the breathy moan of his name that comes from her lips at that just about shatters his last remaining threads of control. She grips at his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as his lips and tongue and occasionally the gentle, playful scrape of his teeth work her into a frenzy. His hands skate over her taut abdomen, feeling her muscles flutter beneath his touch. Continuing downward, his fingers finally encounter the last barrier that separates her from him, and, with her all too eager help, he pushes that last bit of fabric from her hips down her perfect legs before it too finds itself gone and forgotten.

It's not even a moment later that her hands are shoving at his boxers, making quick work of them and Deeks can't help but shudder at the realization that there is _nothing_ left between them. It hits him like this every time and he closes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath, needing a moment to steady himself.

He figures he must've done something ridiculously amazing in a previous life in order to deserve this, because this…this isn't something that just happens out of the blue to him. Good things just simply don't happen to Marty Deeks, at least not without a rather high price attached. Everything that he's ever gotten in life, he's fought _dearly _for, and yet this…his stunningly beautiful partner, the one who gives her trust as sparingly as he does and yet who trusts him enough to allow him to be with her in the most intimate of ways; the one member of the NCIS team who, in the beginning, he was certain would be the last one to accept him and now, here he is _with_ her…he can't help but think that, in a long life of constant struggling, this one thing, easily the best thing he has…it's all but just fallen into his lap.

So, yeah, he has _no_ idea what he did (nor does he really care, to be quite honest), but he's certainly glad he did because he's got Kensi Blye naked and needy beneath him, squirming when he touches her _just like this,_ trembling when he kisses her _just like that_. And then that little whimper she gives when he sneakily draws the tips of his fingers along her inner thigh before drifting slowly, _slowly _upward…_oh God._

His gaze is locked upon her face as he tucks his hand snugly between her thighs and presses his fingers against her, not enough to really satisfy at all, but plenty enough to tease, plenty enough to garner a reaction. And garner a reaction he certainly does. She stiffens beneath him, arching her back and squeezing her eyes shut, hissing his name in such a way that he can't help but groan.

He builds her up, teasing her with caresses and kisses until she's all but begging him, her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth digging into her lip. Her restless hands are _everywhere_, from his back to the muscles of his torso to his hair and his hips, and everywhere they roam, Deeks feels the fire left behind by her touch. It's the same fire that's burning deep inside of him, scorching him with desire for her, a fire that he couldn't extinguish even if he wanted to. He can barely breathe and suddenly, he's right there with her - can't take much more if _any_ more of the teasing. He wants to, _God_ does he want to. Wants to tease her and bring her to the brink repeatedly all night long, but he doesn't think _he_ can withstand that kind of torment. Watching and feeling and hearing her, knowing that he's the one making those little sighs and moans escape from her lips, that he's the one driving her utterly _crazy_ with desire…yeah, it just about _kills_ him.

Rather abruptly he pulls his fingers away from her, drawing a whimper of protest from her lips. _That_ just about does him in and as he claims her lips in a hungry kiss, he shifts above her and without another moment of hesitation, Deeks finally gives in to what they both want more than anything and slowly thrusts into her welcoming warmth. Forcing her lips away from his, Kensi cries out, shuddering beneath him as her fingers flit from his shoulders down his sides, finally settling at his hips. Her nails dig into him then, but Deeks doesn't even register the momentary flicker of pain – that's dwarfed completely by the utterly _exquisite _sensation of finally being inside her. It's not the first time – far from it, in fact, but he's still never fully prepared for the sheer heat, the electricity between their bodies as they finally come together so intimately. It's all he can do to breathe, and when Kensi rocks her hips playfully against his, he's sure the noise that slips from his own lips is pretty damn close to a whimper. Closing his eyes, he buries his face in the crook of her neck, trying oh so desperately to keep his control from completely unraveling far too quickly.

It's not until she challenges him again with a less playful and more demanding rock of her hips that he begins to move. Draws back and thrusts deep, and Kensi's reaction is all the encouragement he needs. Her breath hitches and her body shudders beneath him, and suddenly it becomes a challenge for him - a challenge to see just how much he can get out of her. Suddenly there's nothing more that he wants than to make her moan and whimper in delight, to make her cry out his name. Just the thought has him growling her name, and it's not long before they fall into a rhythm that's nothing short of exquisite. Her hips roll against his as she meets him thrust for thrust and between that and the friction between their bodies as her silky skin glides against his, and the way she keeps tugging at his hair and bringing his mouth back to hers for messy, needy kisses…there's nothing in the world that feels better than this, nothing in the world that's better than the fact that, even if only for these nights with her that are undeniably growing more and more frequent, even if only for just these nights, he gets to think of her as his. That's not something he'd ever say aloud to her even if they _did_ go so far as to define their…_relationship_, but he can't stop himself from thinking it. Oh dear God, does he think it.

And it makes him lose his grasp on just a little bit more of his control too. It's certainly not as if she objects, though, when the pace becomes a bit more frantic, a bit more desperate. It only coils the desire in the pit of her belly even tighter as he starts to thrust harder and deeper, pushing her closer and closer to the precipice. Her mind is clouded in a thick haze of tension and lust and Deeks, and as the surrender of control beckons to her, Kensi finds herself willingly letting go. She clutches at him, holding on and losing herself in the pleasure and the desperation as the peak slips just within her sights. She's almost deafened by the echo of her own heartbeat in her ears, but it doesn't drown out the sounds of her own sighs and moans of pleasure, the sound of his low growls, his groans of her name, his quiet murmurs of encouragement that simply push her even closer. It's as if her entire body is humming, utterly buzzing with electricity and it crosses her mind then that she doesn't think she's ever felt quite so alive with anyone else before.

It doesn't take much longer before Kensi's seeing stars. A few more deep, utterly _delicious _thrusts combined with the caress of practiced hands on her body and she's arching beneath him, crying out his name as her nails dig into his hips, unconsciously trying to draw him even closer to her, even deeper within her. She squeezes her eyes shut as she surrenders to the pleasure, letting the fire consume her completely as her entire body quakes with the force of her climax.

And that's it for Deeks. Just the knowledge alone that he's managed to reduce Kensi Blye to a squirming, trembling, whimpering and breathless mess beneath him is enough to push him over the edge, but then when her walls convulse around him, clutching him like a vice of liquid fire, he has no choice but to give in. Burying his face against her neck, he growls out her name against her skin as he comes, his body surrendering to violent tremors that seem to never end.

He's not sure just how long it takes before he's finally coming down again; all he knows is that the time is punctuated by the soft sounds of her sighs and the occasional lingering whimper as she comes back down with him, the slickness of their skin as their bodies slowly begin to cool, the rise and fall of their chests as they attempt to catch their breath; her hands at his back as he hovers above her, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. He doesn't know how long it takes, but he wishes it were possible to never leave this moment because the vast feeling of contentment that settles in once the frenzy of orgasm finally dissipates is something he's not sure he's ever, ever felt before Kensi came into his life.

There are no words as their bodies separate and even if there were, Deeks isn't sure he'd be able to make sense out of any of them. The fog that lingers in his brain is still just too thick and really, all he can make sense of at this moment in time is that somehow, her lips have managed to find his again. And these kisses, they're everything that every other kiss of the night wasn't – soft, sweet, slow, so gentle that for a brief second Deeks can't help but wonder if she's really kissing him at all. But then her palm finds his cheek, gently cupping it as her lips mesh with his and from that point on there's no mistaking it.

She gives him a bit of a sad smile as she pulls away from him and for a moment, he wonders if she's contemplating asking him to leave. She doesn't, though, and as he rolls lazily onto his back, she curls against him, draping an arm over his chest and laying her head on his shoulder. She doesn't resist as he wraps an arm around him, and while the moment itself leaves him content, Deeks can't quite get that sad smile of hers out of his head.

It's much later, once they're both under the covers and he's nearly dozing there in her bed, that she finally speaks, her voice quiet and uncharacteristically unsure. "Sometimes I think that we need to stop this…"

And there they are. The words he's been afraid of since the very first time this happened, since _they_ became _a thing_. Those are the words he's silently feared since the moment – he doesn't know when that moment struck him; if he did, he's certain he would have stopped it from happening – he began to feel more than lust for her. Those words, that simple sentence, it's been his greatest dread since that blurred point in time when he began to fall for her, because it's those words, simple as they may be, that could truly break his heart.

He swallows hard and, with nothing else to say, he places the ball back in her court. "Do you want to?"

It's a long moment before she ever answers, so long that Deeks starts to wonder whether or not she actually intends to. He's not sure what's going through her head right now - sometimes, he thinks it'd make things so much easier if he _could_ read her mind, but then again, there are plenty of times where he's certain he doesn't want to know what she's thinking.

He's not entirely sure which of those categories the current moment falls into.

Eventually, she sighs heavily, and when at last she answers, Deeks thinks he hears a bit of a smile in her voice. "I don't."

He gives a quiet, rumbling chuckle in reply, turning his head to nuzzle softly into her hair. He gives a typical, playful reply, but even so, he's pretty sure he's unable to fully disguise the relief he feels. "We _are_ pretty damn good together…"

She shrugs, and then there's no denying the smile on her lips. "We're alright…"

He chuckles again and gently tightens his arm around her. Before, she thinks that might have alarmed her. Then again, she thinks maybe this entire situation should alarm her more than it does. Kensi never really was much of a cuddler…but somehow, with Deeks, things are different. It's amazing just how often she keeps coming back to that conclusion – _things are different because it's Deeks_. And truly, everything _is_ different with him; that's a truth that terrifies her just as much as it thrills her.

She thinks maybe she should be analyzing this. Thinks maybe she should be trying to figure out what it all means – what the flutter in her chest means, what the tightening of his hold on her means. Surely she should be trying to read everything…instead of _enjoying_ it.

Because that's exactly what she's doing – enjoying this.

A very bad idea, indeed.

Instead of thinking about that tonight, Kensi lets herself curl into him, closing her eyes and concentrating instead on the hypnotic feel of his fingertips dancing along her naked spine. At this moment, one thing and one thing alone is clear to her – she's at war with herself. Her head says _absolutely not_, but the rest of her (she refuses to admit that it's her heart) seems to want this far too much to pay any attention to her head. Under the cover of darkness, wrapped within his embrace, even Kensi has trouble believing that something that is _such_ a bad idea would feel just so utterly good.

The words he'd murmured into her hair just moments before continue to echo through her ears, a quiet cadence that she can't silence because at the end of the day, they're true. At the end of the day, they _are_ good together.

_Too_ good.

His words from that afternoon flit back to her yet again, and this time, instead of feeling indignant that he'd name what they have and then have the audacity to say it aloud, even jokingly, to someone else, she actually smiles. Partners with privileges...absolutely.

She just wishes she'd realized beforehand that _all_ privileges come with at least _some_ consequences.

More than likely, Kensi would have never agreed to this if she'd known she was going to fall for him.


End file.
